How did he do it?
How did Chev survive Christmas 07 by himself in a house full of strangers munching on Boy Bawang while making conversation with random white people? How did he stay sane amidst the loneliness of being away from home during the holidays? I have to ask him that when he gets home because right now my heart feels so heavy.
I am so homesick and sentimental.
I am glad that I'm with Chev now and we're spending Christmas together and not from separate ends of the country (or the world). I am even more glad that we're together now as husband and wife and celebrating our first Christmas together. But I can't help but wish that we are celebrating it with all of our loved ones as well. A Christmas milestone in our life and we are so far away.
It's true what they say. Nothing beats being home for the holidays. I miss the frenzy around Christmas time. The bad traffic. The endless company parties. The monito monitas. The holiday dinner with friends. The reunion with families. I miss being around my crazy friends and family. I even miss waiting for my name to be picked at the Company Christmas raffle and lugging around giant Christmas hams and Queso de Bolas right after. I miss the noise. The raucous. The sheer panic of not having any gifts yet for your dozens of godchildren. The shopping. God I miss shopping for gifts. I miss the crazy happy Christmas in Manila. I also miss the scent of Christmas in Manila. The native delicacies, the cool air, the feel and smell of Simbang Gabi. Here it doesn't smell like pine trees as I expected. It doesn't even smell imported (you know the scent from the balikbayan box when it's freshly opened). Here it smells like peace. And quiet.
So there. I feel sad because Christmas here doesn't feel like Christmas at all. Sure it looks like Christmas with all the lights and wreaths and decors. But it doesn't feel like it.
It's really true what they show in the movies *plays Pasko na Sinta Ko* mas masaya ang Pasko sa Pilipinas.
So in an attempt to make this Christmas a little more joyful (since it's just gonna be me and Chevy and we don't have any friends or family here in Massachussetts) I put up a Christmas tree. AND I occasionally play Chirstmas songs when I'm working AND I'm planning on cooking up a Christmas feast for 10. So what if we're going to eat leftovers until Valentine's Day. I just want to celebrate Christmas like I used to. And maybe I'll start wrapping up the stuff here at home so we have things to put under our tree. Or print out giant photos of friends and families so it will look like we have them around.
Sigh. It's just that it's my first Christmas away from home and it breaks my heart. But I know Chev will do everything to make me happy. In homesickness and in health.
*sings I'll be home for Christmas...if only in my dreams*
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