Bittersweet valentine Flashback

written last February 14

It seems that my Valentine’s Day celebration has fallen into a pattern. I realized it just now (with so much time on my hands spent oversleeping, thinking and planning). Yes, my V-day this year is quiet. No date, no flowers, no nothing. This is okay because Chev is in Santa Clara and I’m here in Manila and no we didn’t send each other Across the Miles To My Mahal greeting cards. But I realized that over the years, my V-day date book has been alternately empty and full. So I made this flashback and realized that my, my, it has been either happy or sad for me for 5 years now.

2004 – Bitter. As bitter as bitter gourd, dark chocolate, and double espresso shots blended into one disgusting choco veggie shake. I was broken up and hating the world and everything connected to love. I hated the sight of hearts and cupids and flowers and balloons. And I secretly murmured (to lovers around me) the line I made famous for a while “maghihiwalay din kayo…” I was the V-day grouch. And a man-hater. And a couple-hater. And yes this was my party girl year.

2005 – Sweet. I was with someone then and V-day was brighter than the year before. The lovebug bit me and I somehow learned to like flowers and balloons again. I was still a party girl. But a little subdued.

2006 – Bitter. My friends and I celebrated the S.A.D. (Single Awareness Day) V-day together. Yes I was single again. And we drowned our sorrows in wine, wine and more wine.

2007 – Sweet. Celebrated my first V-day with Chev. While we didn’t celebrate on the day itself, which we both consider mucky, we still found a way to make it more special than regular days. He gave me nice flowers and we had a nice dinner the weekend after. The bitter me in 04 is just a shadow of my present self. I have to say that Chev made me believe in love again. And changed my party girl ways. Yes, he is the man who tamed the shrew. At this time, I had no idea he would make a fiancé out of me in 7 months. But we knew back then we would last for a long time.

2008 – V-day without a valentine. But it’s cool. At least I know, following the pattern over the years, that 2009 will be better than this year and the past 5 years. By then hopefully, I will be with Chev. By then hopefully, I will be celebrating V-day with a different last name.

I'll keep you posted on what happens next year ;) Bitter or sweet.