Chronicles of Maya 1: The Creepy Photo Show

I'm starting a series about stuff I found in my archives/ files since I'll be doing plenty of cleaning and organizing during the new few weeks.

This one is about the CREEPY stuff. NONE of the pics below have been altered at all. Girl Scout Promise.

Creepy Photo # 1

Pic of me and Chev at M Cafe in Greenbelt. This was when we had drinks with Aimee, Bry, Vina and Dino. We were using night mode but someone's hand was a little shaky, hence this blurry shot. Check out the right corner. If you look closely, you'll see something blue that looks like a face. Gives me the creeps.

Creepy Photo # 2

Pic of me, probably at my thinnest. I don't like it. My eyes look bigger and my lips more Jack-Nicholsonish. My head looks bigger than my body. I like my bulgy cheeks better. This pic gives me the creeps too. Plump is beautiful :P

Creepy Photo # 3

Ok this isn't creepy. It's just plain disgusting. Dirty feet from walking around Vegas. And those chipped nail polish! Horror of horrors!

I can't find anything better to post here since I haven't gone through all my files just yet. I'll improve this post tomorrow. I'm kinda sleepy. It's 2 am. Gasp.

I'm outtie.

My Missing Chevy Playlist

I like making playlists in my Ipod. Usually when I'm trying to fall asleep. So far I have "Rollin' with Mah Homies" hiphop songs, "Slowflow" chillout songs, "Motorcycle Drive-by" road trip playlist (with rise and fall uptempo songs, starts with U2's Beautiful Day and ends with Daniel Powter's You've Had A Bad Day), "Rock Steady Rock" you-guessed-it, my rock playlist. I even have a playlist entitled "Funeral No-no's" (what not to play during a funeral) which I deleted because it was lousy.

Now I have this "Missing Chevy" playlist, composed of songs I dedicate to my long-distance bee Chev. I listen to it when I miss him or when I want to torture myself when I'm sad from missing him too much. I wanted to upload all the songs but it's taking forever. So I'm just listing it down:

1. I Miss You by Blink 182

2. Wish You Were Here by Incubus

3. Look After You by The Fray

4.Counting Down the Days by Natalie Imbruglia

5. All I Need is You by The Click Five

6. Here Without You by 3 Doors Down

7. Ain't No Sunshine by Lighthouse Family

8. I'm Still Here by Vertical Horizon

10. Clocks by Coldplay

11. Half-Life by Duncan Sheik

12. Dare You to Move by Switchfoot

13. Feeling a Moment by Feeder

14. In My Place by Coldplay

15. When I'm Thinking About You by The Sundays

16. Things Will Go My Way by The Calling

17. I Miss You by Incubus

18. Your Guardian Angel by red Jumpsuit Apparatus

19. Stolen by Dashboard Confessional

20. The Blues by Switchfoot

21. Dear Diary by Travis

22. Sleeps with Butterflies by Tori Amos

23. Here with me by Dido

and the ultimate gut wrenching, tear-jerker song....

The Distance by Evan and Jaron

Things To Do When I Resign

9 working days to go and I’ll be free as a bird. Now that the day is fast approaching I can’t help but feel anxious. Butterflies in my stomach anxious (flip, flop, flip, flop). I’ll be unemployed!! For the first time in 6 years I won’t have a new job to look forward to and dread at the same time. Mixed emotions. But mostly excitement. I’ll be seeing my bee after 2 months of being apart!! Yay!

I’m trying to plan what to do during the days I will spend waiting for my clearance and moolah. The days before I fly off to the States and so far, here’s what I’ve got.

1. Wake up late…

2. Eat long brunches while watching The Daily 10, The Insider, Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy

3. Clean out my closet.

4. Have a garage sale. Sell old clothes, bags, shoes and accessories. Ok give half of what I find to cousins as “pamana.”…if they’ll take it, that is.

5. Go to the spa for a full body scrub, facial, the works!

6. 3 words: Hip. Hop. Abs.

7. Finish my Gossip Girl Season 1 DVD

8. Finish fixing my wedding clear book / organizer

9. Bake. Try out the recipes I’ve marked on my new cookbook. Now that I’ve got a new hand mixer. Hurray!!

10. Search online for cheap rates and cheap things to do in the US

11. Hang out with friends before I leave (hopefully they’ll treat me because I’m saving all my money…if they can’t treat me, we’ll just YM na lang siguro haha:P)

12. Use the beauty products I have unconsciously accumulated over the past few months a.k.a. magpaganda. Pa. Lalo.

13. Organize, organize, organize.

14. Brush up on my French. Kidding. Eat like the French.

15. Read the stack of books I bought but never got the chance to read

16. Return stuff I borrowed that are still with me.

17. Go out-of-town with parents and sister

18. Magwalis-walis ng bakuran hahaha. Magplano ng kasal-kasalan with Diche Kytes and my wedding dream team.

19. Learn how to cook everyday dishes from Mommy

20. Shop for pasalubong for Chev and baon. The instant pansit cantons and nido soups, chocnuts and hello pandas.

And So This is Christmas

Went to Ayala mall area last Saturday to go grocery shopping with mommy and do a little Christmas shopping…or should I say start with my Christmas shopping since I haven’t gotten anyone anything yet. While I was driving along the longest parking lot that is EDSA, I realized some things about Christmas. Then I realized that in 1997, I wrote a similar entry in my High School journal - a journal we were all forced to fill up with our pensive teenage reflections for English class. And 10 years later, here I am thinking the same thoughts again. Either Christmas in Manila hasn’t changed or my outlook in life is still as childish and glum as that of my scrawny slightly nerdy high school self. These are the things I noted in between my mental curses directed at those g damn taxi and bus drivers who don’t know road courtesy even if it chewed off their friggin’ faces!!!

1. Christmas time in Manila = heavy traffic EVERYwhere

2. It also means = “Time to Exploit the Shoppers” season for taxi drivers as they shift to “Drive Like An Ass” gear while slinking their way around like the vile conniving snakes that they are.

3. I also realized, while staring at the back of a REVO for a full 20 minutes that REVO is actually OVER spelled backwards while TOYOTA is ATOYOT and CIVIC is still CIVIC.

4. I also realized that my mom is still a backseat driver. And she still gets mad when I try to make like a taxi driver and “drive like an ass.”

5. And that sometimes even if you dress up curse words as Crap! Sheet! Fuuuudge! Puch! and wish those drivers would die or crap their pants or die with crap in their pants, your mom will still shush you.

6. When I got to the parking lot, just like in my 1997 journal, people were fighting over parking spaces. There was this guy who was literally screaming his lungs off while cursing this lady who took his spot. And another couple fighting with a teenager, you guessed it, over a parking spot. Which made me sigh. How ironic. Christmas is the time to give and share and the time to be nice and not naughty. But cases like this usually happen only around Christmas time.

7. When I entered the mall I saw what felt like a gazillion kids buying toys and clothes. Christmas is indeed for children. Naughty or nice. And their parents will do everything, to make their children’s Christmas a happy one – fight over parking space, over the last toy in stock, over who goes first at the line at the cashier. Which is good because it’s the only time during the year when parents show their little gremlins how much they care.

8. I also realized that I have 6 godchildren and I still have no gifts for them.

9. Which sent me to a panicked frenzy. So I made a list of gifts to buy and rushed around buying the nicest presents I could find (that fit my budget). So I realized how year after year, I resolve to shop early but I still end up rushing like there was only one week til Christmas. And yes it’s true.

10. Some people (the really dorky ones) who shop one month before Christmas end up floating around the mall like butterflies with all the time in the world. Which totally pissed me off. I actually had a little spat with one of them who looked like she was on dope, staring off into space and holding up the line like her world was in slow mo.

11. That NOT all SM ladies ask you if you have an SM Advantage card. Hah! I finally found one who totally forgot to ask me.

12. That when I badly need to shop, I have trouble finding good stuff to buy but when I window shop I find things that I totally drool over but can’t buy.

13. That some salesladies are just totally blah. They don’t know what the hell they’re selling or just don’t understand what you’re looking for. And some of them are just so inaudible you just want to tell them to get out of the sales industry if they can’t speak up.

14. That I hear Jose Mari Chan during Christmas every single year whenever I see girls and boys selling lanterns on the street…

15. That the kids who sing carols at you doorstep usually sing the same medley you know the one that starts with “Sa May Bahay…” followed by “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” and “Thank you..thank you, ang babait ninyo thank you.”

16. That during Christmas I’m usually grumpy. Like the Grinch. Or the grumpy dwarf and the Grumpy Bear that doesn’t care. Or Ebenezer Scrooge. I’m like the Nightmare Before Christmas.

But don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas. It’s my favorite time of the year. And I will rejoice and celebrate the birthday of Jesus. But the rejoicing will not be as jolly or as merry. Not this year. With Chev on the other side of the world, I just don’t feel the spirit of Christmas. I can’t take the distance and I can’t take all this holiday cheer.

I Sent My Heart to San Francisco

It was tough when he left yesterday for San Francisco.

It was tough helping him pack his things. Trying to fit in 2 years worth of clothing and accessories into one giant luggage and wanting to fill it with little things that will remind him of you …knowing that you won’t be able to see each other whenever you want to.

It was tough having lunch with him, talking and laughing and acting like it’s just another normal lunch…knowing it will be a while before you eat together again.

It was tough driving to the airport and asking him to drive faster so he can make it in time…knowing that getting to the airport is the last thing you want to happen.

It was tough talking to his parents at the waiting area when all you want is to spend time with him alone….knowing he’ll be gone in a just a few precious minutes.

It was tough giving him a quick kiss goodbye…knowing that you want nothing but to hug him tight and never let him go.

It was tough wishing him a good trip...knowing that all you want to say is "please don't go...not without me"

It was tough making small talk with his parents before leaving…knowing all you want to do is run to your car so you can break down and cry.

It was tough driving home with all the tears in your eyes...knowing it will take a while before they stop falling.

It was tough talking to him on the phone before he finally boarded the plane…knowing there was nothing any of you could say to make each other feel better.

It was tough saying goodbye.

But it’s tougher waking up and trying to get back into your routine knowing that it will never be the same...…that he won’t be a call away…that he won’t be there at the end of the day

It feels tougher than breaking up with someone because then you do everything to forget...but now you hold on to everything you can remember. And even if the memories make you smile, they also make you cry. Because you know from now on, life will never be the same again. And it will be a while before you can make it right.

I've never missed anyone so much in my life. And it's only our first day apart. Sigh.

Long Lethargic Weekend

This is probably the longest vacation weekend of the year. And no I didn’t do anything special. Didn’t go out of the country, didn’t go out of town, didn’t even go out of Makati. Hahaha. I call it the mother of all lethargic weekends (so far). Here’s how it went.

October 29.

Election day. Nope didn’t vote. I’m not registered in Makati. Didn’t want to vote in BF since I don’t know the people running for office there and what do I care, I don’t live there anymore. Stayed home and played PSP. Then we put up the Christmas tree and then Chev dropped by and we watched That 70’s Show on DVD.

October 30.

Went to work. I was so on holiday mode already but it’s end of the month and it’s the most hectic time so I worked my buns off. Speaking of buns, Bun and I had dinner at Cibo. Haven’t seen her since August. Catch up catch up on each other's lives.

October 31.

Work, work, work. Then Chev and I watched 30 Days of Night on Hallow’s Eve. Eep. Wanted to watch Fright Fest in g4 but you know...stigma, stigma. Slept at around 4AM because I played PSP again. I finished the game The Con already. Hooray.

November 1.

Went to the supermarket to buy food. Junk food. Sugar free soda. Snacks. Baking stuff (I want to try out some sugar free cookies to sell for Christmas...for my charity). Then Chev dropped by the house and we had a Matrix marathon. He also brought a lot of Mafia movies for my dad. We had a street food fest. I cooked squid balls and kikiam. And we played Scrabble with the Christmas tree all lit up.

November 2.

We went to Manila Memorial Park. My bad. I did leave Makati pala. Spent my day there hanging out with relatives, both dead and alive. Played Scrabble with my Mom and Titas like we always do. Then went home. And slept like a log. And woke up at around 10PM and played PSP until 3. This time I was playing Thrillville...where you build nice little theme parks.

November 3.

Chev and I went to the mall and bought DVDs. I got Knocked Up (no, I didn’t actually get knocked up. I got the movie) and Final Destination 3 which i haven’t seen yet. Chev got his Sopranos DVD changed since the last episode doesn’t work. We bought ice cream and pigged out in front of the TV. I watched Knocked Up while Chev played PSP . Then he fell asleep on the couch. He only saw Katherine Heigl’s character getting a pregnancy test then when he woke up, she was already giving birth. When he left I played more Thrillville...I was already on my 3rd theme park.

November 4.

Today. I spent my day playing PSP. I finished Thrillville already. Now there’s nothing else to do. So I’m just posting stuff on Multiply. Tomorrow it’s back to reality. Need to wake up early. That would be soooo difficult.

I was so unproductive the past 4 days. And so anti-social. But it’s only rare that I get the chance to do these things. So there.

Can’t wait for Christmas break. I feel all giddy just thinking about it.

Grateful (not dead) at 27

As of yesterday, I am officially 27 years old!! I am no longer mid-20’s. Belch. It was my friend Steffy Toh who made me realize this. She’s 7 days older than me and we used to have joint celebrations at Nestle every year. So during our exchange of annual birthday SMS, she mentioned how we met when we were only 22 and super nene but now we’re near our 30’s na…marrying/childbearing age. I kinda freaked out a bit. Not about the marrying and childbearing age but with how time just flew by us. I realized I’ve known her for 5 years already. Seems like only yesterday when we first met during our H.R. interviews at the ground floor of the Nestle Center. We were both super young then, dressed in trying hard corporate outfits feeling all mature and trying to make good impressions when in fact we knew so little of the corporate world. Tsk. Time flies.

Then I realized that I’ve known my college friends for 10 years! *gasp*

And my high school friends for 14 years! *nosebleed*

Anyways, after a bit of fretting over my age and after wiping off the blood from under my nose, I took a good look at the wrinkly lines below my eyelids, swore to use my eye cream regularly and let it go. Age? Just a number. I’m still young at heart. Sometimes too young at heart for my own good. Snicker. Snicker. So I decided to treat my aging self to a birthday coffee. I finished work at around 4pm (give me a break, it was my birthday!!) and drove over to Starbucks at Shell Fort. It was raining hard. Which happens every year during my birthday. They say it’s raining blessings daw for me. Sana. I’m hoping those will be career blessings. I’ve had a tough year. Boohoo.When I got to Starbucks, I got my usual non-fat-iced-white-chocolate-mocha and an extra hot grande non-fat-decaf-café-mocha to take home. Kinda drooled a bit over the cakes but decided not to since I’ve been eating nonstop all weekend (Saturday house blessing party, Sunday buffet with family). So I sat there and did a bit of Reflection Time with my lonely birthday coffee as I watched my blessings pound on the misty windows of Starbucks.

I realized that I did have a lot of blessings over the years. And I am grateful for all of them. Thanks to PJ (Papa Jesus).

1. My family. My moody and funny dad, my chatterbox caring mom, my carefree Ate and my OC Diche. I think I’m a mix of all of them. I’m grateful I have them in my life. 27 years with them? Crazy. Fun. Wouldn’t trade for anything else. And I can’t wait for our family to expand as we all eventually get married and have our own little happy families.

2. My fiancé. He’s my rock, my go-to guy. My bodyguard, my doctor, my therapist, my chauffer, my parole officer, my manager, my fan, my best friend, my love, my future, my life. I will love him to death.

3. My friends. All of them. 83 people greeted me through SMS yesterday. Didn’t know I had that much friends. Thanks to Multiply and Friendster for those birthday reminders ☺ But seriously, I am so blessed to have so many great bunch of friends from different eras of my life. I hope I can accommodate everyone on my wedding. That’s almost my share of number of guests. But to all my friends, you’re all great, all fabulous. I’m grateful to each and every one of you for the friendship.

4. My job. Past and present. One: Manila, Nestle and Wyeth. I have learned so much from these 3. Yes I jobhopped a little but I feel like I have made worthy contributions to each before leaving on for greener pastures. I’m at a crossroads now with my career and whatever decision I make, I will be grateful for the 6 years I have spent in those companies. I’m so blessed to have worked for such people and such Filipino, Swiss and American corporations.

5. My health. Glad to say I have never been confined in a hospital since I was a few months old. 27 years of migranes, flus, more migranes, coughs, colds, a bit of chicken pox and measles but nothing deathly serious. So help me God.

6. My worldly possessions. My old car Roxy (the City). My new car Venice (the Vios). My future car Bailey (the BMW) hahaha. They took me places. My workplace away from work, my home away from home. My refuge from the rain…Ever since my bag was stolen, I have learned to treasure my stuff more and to take better care of them. They’ve been good to me. And I’ll try to be their better owner. I don’t have a pet…would like to have one but I’m not sure if I can take care of them…

7. My past. There are things in my past that I wish never took place. Things I want to erase from my memory. But then I realized that if I haven’t gone through what I’ve gone through or I haven’t been with people I’ve been with, I wouldn’t have what I have right now and wouldn’t be who I am right now and for that I am grateful. For every wrong decision. For every mistake. I am making peace with my regrets. All that I have now…all products of what I’ve been through.

It’s been a good solid 27 years. I’ve written resolutions in the past. But I realized I haven’t made any of those things happen. So I just stopped resolving and just started thanking. In the wake of the tragedies happening everywhere (mall blasts, flash floods, wildfire) I just wanted give out my thanks to the world!! I have lived a good life. And am looking forward to living a better one (hopefully a long one if God will permit)…and I hope you all stick around.

Cheers!

XOXO