Flying Away

August 3, 2007. 9:10PM.

Philippine Airlines Centennial Airport Gate 6

I think they should make airports more colorful. Put in reds and greens and more plants. More coffee shops with more comfy couches and more boutiques with friendlier prices. Airports are too gray and too concrete and too uncomfortable. Well, at least the new airports are. NAIA still reminds me of the CCP lobby with all the wood and worn out carpets. While we all appreciate all the glass and high ceilings and Duty Free shops, airports still feel so cold. Particularly the departure area. It feels drab and gray.

Or maybe because I feel drab and gray and cold right this moment. And very very anxious.

I hate flying. I really do. Especially really long flights. I flew to London once, 19 hours with a 3 hour stopover, to Paris for 18 hours with a 1 hour stopover and now I'm flying to Los Angeles for 7 hours with no stopover. So this will be a walk in the park compared to my other long flights. Yup a walk in the park indeed. Jurrassic Park.

I'm flying alone. And that in itself explains how Jurassic Park-ly this "short" long flight to the US will be. I will be alone, strapped to a seat for almost 7 hours, elevated hundreds of thousands of miles above ground with metal walls merely separating me from a horrifying plunge to death. I have no one to talk me through the scary take-off, no one to share the bland food with, no one to switch with me when the cramped seats make me feel like i'm getting bedsore, no one to watch my bag when i go to the teeny lavatory with the waterless toilet bowl...and that makes me feel very nervous. Add to my anxiety the feeling of loneliness. Because I'm currently in an airport full of families and friends waiting for a flight. And I'm leaving my boyfriend behind and we'll be celebrating our first year anniversary in different parts of the world. And I'm missing my mom and dad and wishing they were here with me and coming with me on this trip so they can meet my their grandkids and see my sister and cousin. All these thoughts are making me teary eyed. And i don't want to look stupid all over again because I was crying and sniffing all the way from the departure gate to check-in.

So I try to dwell on the positive. My sister. Cousins. Nephews. But right now all feelings of positivity seem to be a thousand miles away. 14 thousand miles away, more or less. And so we board the 10PM flight....

August 4, 2007. 3:15 AM. Flight PR102

So I'm on the plane. And trying to entertain myself with all the stuff I brought with me to keep my mind from remembering all the airline accident specials featured on Discovery Channel. My book The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, my Ipod and my travel journal.

I've been drifting in and out of sleep. Catching glimpses of Spiderman 3 and Blades of Glory, the in-flight movie features for tonight. My stomach's upset. My back hurts. I barely ate dinner or snacks and now my stomach is so acidic I can feel it almost boring a hole to the surface of my tummy. I want to call the flight attendant and ask for medical attention because I feel like I will faint anytime soon. But I still write because it occupies me from all the pangs of sadness, anxiety and hunger. And i really don't feel like talking to anyone. Because that means reaching for my gum in my bag which is safely stowed under the seat in front of me. The only words I have spoken during this flight so far are: Chicken, Tea, Water please, Thank you, More water please, and No thanks (to the alcoholic beverages and Duty Free merchandise...I knew I should have said yes to that glass of wine). The guy beside me tries to make small talk. He's a businessman with his power suit and blackberry and laptop. But I just smile politely and give him the I'm-sorry-but-I'm-a-loner look. And he minds his own business. Argh. I'm counting the hours. Painfully counting the hours.

August 4, 2007. 5:25 AM. Flight PR102

I just woke up and realized how planes are actually time machines. When I get to the States it will be 7:40 pm of August 3 once again. Lucky pilots and flight attendants, going back and forth in time. But I wouldn't want their job even if I have the height. That's a tough job, pushing those carts up and down the narrow aisles while the plane's tilted or bouncing from turbulence. And dealing with this airplane smell all the time. My stomach feels queasy all over again. But they'll be earning money while flying to different parts of the world and they won't be strapped to this seat the whole time. And the time traveling's also pretty cool.

August 4, 2007. 9:12 AM. Flight PR102

We're almost there. I just freshened up. And now they're serving breakfast. My body clock is all messed up now. So much for the coolness of time travelling. It's breakfast here on the plane but when we get there it will be dinner and knowing my sister and cousin we'll have dinner or snacks before going home. But I still try to eat anyways....


Ok I ate a little rice and a little corned beef and took the ensaymada for baon. And sit back and wait and think of my family and Chev. And I feel sad and homesick and airsick all over again. And before getting off the plane, I threw up in that waterless toilet bowl and I think for the nth time I hate flying.

August 3, 2007 11:30 PM
I'm now here in California and still dizzy and queasy from the flight. ...but seeing this baby in person just made that horrible flight all worth it.

Artist Chef Birthday Surprise

Last July 1, Chev celebrated his 29th birthday and I surprised him with a romantic dinner arranged by the Artist Chef. I had to work that day (it was a Sunday) so we met up near the office. He asked me where I wanted to eat and I nonchalantly suggested "Serendra, Portico or some other resto there...wherever..."but first I had to drop off something at “my officemate’s condo” near Ayala. “My officemate’s condo” was actually the venue for the surprise dinner and on the way, I was secretly consulting the map to the place. I remember he even asked me what floor her place was and I absentmindedly answered “20th floor” since I was trying so hard to read the map in the dark.

When we got to the condo I almost laughed out loud since the building was only 5-storeys tall! Good thing he didn’t notice. I had to convince him to go up with me since he wanted to stay and wait in the car.

3 floors later I knocked on the door of the Artist Chef’s place. I told him to wait by the hallway while I got in. I said hello to Joanne Manalang, the Artist Chef and checked the arrangements. Everything was just so romantic. The table was set up in the corner. There were candles and rose petals all over the place while instrumental bossa music played. I invited him in saying I’d take a little longer than expected so he stepped inside and got his birthday surprise :)

The dinner was great. The food was delicious. The ambiance was perfect. We had an amazing time. It really beats celebrating dinner for two at an expensive restaurant. We had a four course meal for a very reasonable price. Since Chev loves Spanish food, I chose the Spanish menu with Crema de Mejillones as the soup (mussel soup), Spanish potato salad for entrée, Paella Valenciana for the main course and ended with Crema Catalana or a really rich strawberry topped cream dessert. We also had two non-alcoholic pinacoladas (really yummy). At the end of the dinner we were both so full we could barely move hahaha. After eating, we sat down and chatted with Joanne, who by the way is my sister’s friend from college (also a fellow Thomasian) and talked about the food. She really researches and experiments with different dishes, usually from her favorite international chefs and then she concocts her own. We thanked her and said our goodnights and left her place grinning like Cheshire cats. Big, fat, full Cheshire cats.

Since the night was still young (and so were we...and yes, only God can make a tree) we decided to go to Serendra for a late night stroll (to at least burn off some of the calories) and for some book shopping at Fully Booked. It was a really good dinner. Compliments to the Artist Chef!! I hope Chev enjoyed his birthday. I would have loved to cook him dinner myself but my culinary skills are well, very limited. Happy birthday again Chevy!! xoxo

I recommend the Artist Chef to couples out there who want to try a unique dining experience. It beats eating at the usual places – Serendra, Greenbelt, The Fort… Here, there are no lines, no waiting, no hassle looking for parking, no parking fees, no loud chatter. It’s like a secret romantic hideaway in the city. So the next time you’re celebrating anything, give the Artist Chef a call and schedule dinner at her place. The Artist Chef is available only on Sundays. One friendly tip: try to reserve in advance since a lot of people make reservations. That’s how good her food is ;)

Visit

The Artist Chef

All Grown Up

Last Father's Day, my high school girlfriends and I met up to celebrate the 1st birthday of Chey's son Joaquin Lorenzo or Enzo in Cavite. Jeng and I drove together to the venue, while her boyfriend Eugene convoyed us in another car. Despite having a map, and despite the fact that Jeng grew up and live in Cavite (I was the only non-Cavitenya among us 5), we still got lost. Because (1) we were making chismis in the car nonstop and (2) Chey drew a really lousy map (hehe) After a couple of illegal turns, we found ourselves in Enzo's Blue's Clue's party. It was so much fun seeing Joy and Merv and our cute inaanak Kyle there. We haven't seen him in a long long time and my, my, has he grown. The first words 2 year old Kyle said to me? "Oops I farted!!" He has indeed inherited his mother's charm!!! We all screamed "Joy na Joy!!"

Newborn Kyle. I am innocent

1 year old Kyle with pretty ninang (me)

2 year old Kyle. Super pilyo.

It was a swimming party but unfortunately for Kyle, he had a slight fever and was banned from the pool by mom and dad so he just played and entertained us by farting away all afternoon. Kidding. Kyle side from being sooo cute and funny is really really smart, speaking straight sentences and singing nursery rhymes and songs. He even knows the PCSO jingle! Despite having a fever, he played video games, stepped on ants, sang songs, bounced around, ran to and from the cake (which he wanted to smash with his chubby fingers) and played with balloons while Joy, Jeng and I sat there chatting and Merv chased after him all afternoon (in celebration of Father's Day). Every once in awhile, Joy would shout "Daddy faster!" when Merv would slow down while chasing Kyle and then go back to the juicy gossip we were spilling. Too bad my digicam got lobat (it always fails to take precious Kodak moments) and we weren't able to take much pics of each other (not even the birthday boy who was then so busy entertaining his guests while in the arms of Mommy Chey). But I managed to take some pics of Kyle during his "Lagot ka kay Tito Eugene" behaved moments and a pic of the four of us (we miss you Anne) while reminiscing about the time we posed as Sailor girls back in high school (with Chey as Sailor Moon and the rest of us as the less significant Sailor Planet Girls).

From high school girls to mothers. My, my have we grown up. And I'm so damn proud of my friends. Joy has grown up from the girl who impersonates Marimar in high school to this doting mom who has taught Kyle to be so articulate and smart at such a young age. And Chey who used to spend all her money on clothes and parties to this hostess mom throwing a kiddie birthday bash and giviing away Blues Clues cakes. And Anne, who used to play "Save Save" and "Name the Movie" games, do Brenda (also from Marimar) impersonations, is now raising a handsome binata in Bom and a little doll in Alyssa. It's amazing how they have transformed.

While Jeng and I..uh..um....uh we know how to cook really good spaghetti! And uh...we're good at Tabboo and poker...Don't worry Jeng, you are next in line. I know it.

Good boy. Takot kay Tito Eugene "the policeman"

2006: with Joy and 1 year old Kyle, and Chey and Enzo (still inside his Mommy's tummy)

June 2007: with Jeng (the next in line) Mommy Joy, Mommy Chey sans preggy bump

Though we are all busy with our own lives with almost everyone rearing children and husbands (haha) and we see each other only during weddings, baptisms and birthdays and occasional house parties, I'm so glad we still have that special bond. From Sailor girls to Spice Girls to College girls to Wives to Mothers, I know these girls will be around the many transformations in our lives. And I know underneath the "mommy facade," they will always be the silly girls I grew up with in High School. And we will always laugh at ourselves, no matter how old we will be...

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

Dave Matthews. Live. In New Jersey. I'll be there around that time. But the plane ticket is so darn expensive. I promised myself I wouldn't splurge so much on this trip and take time to just relax and play with nephews. But Dave Matthews?! Dave Matthews?!! Singing Crash Into Me, Jimi Thing, Satellite, Ants Marching and my favorite favorite song The Space Between? Thta's a once in a lifetime opportunity. And right now, it's dangling right in front of my face. Literally. Just like this ticket (thanks Bun for tempting me).

Maybe I should write Oprah. Or Ellen. Or Tyra.

I dunno. Any rich dollar-earning friends willing to sponsor my $400 plane ticket to New Jersey? I'll be your driver when you're here in Manila. How about peso-earning friends? I'll buy you souvenirs :)

Call Me Tita Maya

Finally!!! I am now an Aunt. A real Aunt!! Not just to my cousins' kids but to my very own sister's baby. Baby Armaan was born last June 20 at 9:25pm in Los Angeles, California. 2 days after his initial due date.I panicked when I learned that my new nephew was delivered via C-section because he had a big head. I thought there was something wrong cause if you've seen my sister you would know that she should be very capable of delivering her baby normally (with her child-bearing hips and all) hehehe But everything was normal and he is very healthy. The doctors just had to get him out of there before he grew any more hair haha. Check out some of his pics. They say he got my ducky lips.

"hullo world!!"

"just chillin' with my mommy"

"sleeping time, sleeping time na naman"

I'm so happy for my sister and brother-in-law and my parents who are now grandparents. This month has brought us so many good news despite all my problems with work I can't wait to see my new nephew. Even if he'll just lie there in his crib and look at the light and look at his pretty aunt and pee in his diapers and drink his milk and sleep ... I'll sing him songs and make him coo and smile. Cause that's what lil babies do. Coo and smile and sleep and poop and pee. Then I'll do all the tiring activities with Josh whom I miss and love and adore so much too. Can't wait for the time the three of us can go to the mall and ride go-carts and eat ice cream. I'll probably be thirty then and it will be a little off but who cares?! I will always be a kid at heart and I will never get tired of playing with our kids. I can't wait to have my own kid as well but I'm scared of the whole pregnancy and childbirth and the delicate still-kinda-pink-infant stage of the baby... Miss you Ate. Can't wait to see your new bundle of joy. Cheers!!!

with the brand new mama

A Poem About Men

i haven't posted in quite a while. no time to write. i have a bunch of unfinished works. not inspired to finish them either. but i received this in my inbox and i knew i just had to post it. i do not agree with everything this poem says but i think you'd know which ones i strongly agree with. for the ladies and the men. just some insights on how to play the game of love :)

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends".
A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job.
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs. - some men are bitches hehe
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage...
Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes... when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him he takes it for granted.
Never move into his mother's house.
Never co-sign for a man.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Never Go To Bed Angry

Never go to bed angry…especially when you’re angry with the one you love. The feelings bottled up will seem to fade the next day but in reality it will just hide in the secret pockets of your subconscious together with ignored feelings of hurt and resentment. When that pocket fills all the unspoken words from those nights of silent loathing will be spoken in one furious breath and may cause damage beyond repair. And before you know it, everything will be over and you’ll say outloud (to yourself and whoever will listen) that it wasn’t meant to be – irreconcilable differences. But in reality it could have been a meant to be. Meant to be’s are also meant-to-be-worked-out. You didn’t do your part in working things out. You chose not to reconcile your differences when you had the chance, when they were still small and petty. When they seemed insignificant. Now all the insignificant differences have turned into one giant significant difference. Now everything has been blown out of proportion and it’s just too damn late to turn things around. And it will be another what if? if only? question in your life.

So you scream. cry. weep. Now you express all the pain and anger that caused your loss in the first place. Ironically, for lost causes.

In relationships it’s key to relay. Relay your feelings: not just love, joy and passion but also anger, hurt, stress and sadness. Share in each tear, each laugh, each whine. Joy shared is multiplied, pain shared is divided. Express and receive anger, say and accept apologies, resolve and try to do better, understand and make yourself understood. Talk and talk is not just talk. It answers questions, clears misconceptions, relieves tension, reveals emotions, assures and secures. It bridges gaps, builds trust, and above all saves relationships. No more haunting what-ifs, what-might-have-beens, ones-who-got-away coulda-woulda-shouldas. Only happily-ever-afters.

Slightly weathered slightly worn happily ever after :)

So the next time your girlfriend tells you she’s angry and hurting and she can’t sleep because something is bothering her, listen and try to make her feel better. Try not to think of it as nagging. It’s her way of telling you that something’s wrong and it just can’t freaking wait til tomorrow. Otherwise tomorrow it will seem forgotten but one day, when you least expect it, it will blow up in your face. So turn off that NBA game, stop surfing ESPN and talk to your girlfriend. Sort it out. It will just take a few minutes but it can possibly save you a lifetime of regrets.

Inspired by: D Sound, Baz Luhrman, Ellen Degeneres, Max Lucado
Triggered by: my overactive brain cells and slight symptoms of paranoia
Fuelled by: rush of girly girl hormones, banoffee pie, and my compulsive need to say my two cents worth and express my opinions (so sue me, I'm a Comm Arts graduate).
Note: Written in general. With no person in mind whatsoever. These are just learnings from stories and experiences. Any similarity to an actual real life breathing person on this earth is purely coincidental.